I feel like a lot of things have happened in the last couple of weeks. Number one is the coming to terms that there is no full-time position for me at my job after I graduate. This has been really tough to deal with, especially because I’ve been working there for almost two years and I passed up on my opportunity to study abroad. 

I realize that I should be thankful for the connections I’ve made through this internship, but I just can’t help feeling taken advantage of. This job causes more stress that it ended up being worth. I have hated every minute I’ve sat up at night, worrying about whether or not I’d be able to pay for rent this month. I realize that there are a lot of people in this same situation, and that I should be thankful I have had any source of income. But I put a lot of time and effort into this job, and it just sucks not seeing it come back to me in a big payoff.

But who knows. May is still a couple months from now, and maybe a position will open up. I would just really hate to leave my work family. I love them all so much, and they’re the main reasons I love coming into work.

I also lately have gotten the feeling from friends that I’m no longer as important to them as I once was. I realize that sometimes this happens in life, but it’s painful to have friends you’ve known for a number of years simply stop checking in on you or even stop answering your calls/texts. I truly hope that deep down, it’s just been a bad week or even month for them, and things will turn around. I’m never one to lose hope when it comes to people I love and care about.

I think it’s safe to say that 2012 has many great, and some not so great, things in store for me. Just gotta keep going with my chin held high. Things will work out how they’re supposed to.